Write to keep your pet's memory alive.
Write to remember.
Write to sort shit out in your head.

First of all, know that you don't need to be a writer - this kind of writing is designed to be messy, unfiltered and unedited.  It can be as simple as jotting random notes in no particular order on a piece of scrap paper to as involved as writing a book (term used loosely). In between can lie standalone essays to capture moments in time, an obituary, a letter to your pet, captions beside photos in a scrapbook. Whatever speaks to you.

I recommend starting by free-journaling whatever comes to mind. If you can, purchase a journal specifically devoted to writing about your pet. A simple notebook will also do - the important thing is to release your feelings in a contained space. For me, looking at the page and seeing my words leaves me feeling emotionally lighter, as though I am no longer precariously holding the feelings inside. 

I find journaling on paper rather than on a computer more cathartic because it prevents me from editing my work at every other sentence as I would on a computer.  While pausing to polish your work may be tempting, try to resist that urge. If you so desire, there is plenty of time for that later. Your first task is to write, write, write while the memories are fresh in your mind and to give your emotions somewhere to land.

With that said, if typing is your preference, go with that - there is no right or wrong; these are simply suggestions. I have a surplus of severely edited (and edited and edited again) essays written on my computer, but I wasn't able to start there.

At first, you may only have the emotional capacity to jot down a few memories in short increments of time. When the memories feel too heavy, returning to your writing days or even weeks later is not only normal, but can be necessary.

Be compassionate with yourself during the writing process. There will likely be tears.
 
Also know that what feels comfortable to you anytime can shift - our emotional strength to remember will vary. Understand that you may not yet be in a place to write, and that’s okay. Perhaps your loss is too raw. By forcing yourself to remember — to go there — you risk re-traumatizing yourself (especially if the loss was of a traumatic nature). It's expected - and healthy- to feel sad while writing, but monitor the intensity and know when to take a break. Perhaps set a timer to check in with yourself at regular intervals.
​
Check out Writing About My Dead Dog is Too Painful — Even So, I Keep Trying for additional writing safety.

​
Below are some writing prompts to get you thinking. The questions intentionally vary in complexity and are not necessarily meant to be written about in any particular order, or for all to be answered. Take what fits, leave the rest, and add whatever you need.

​
The Questions...

The Deep End
How did you acquire your pet?
​
What was your “Gotcha Day” like?
​
The Relationship - Was it love at first sight? Complicated? Challenging?  Did you experience any struggles in the beginning, or did your pet slide right into the fabric of your life?

What are some of your earliest memories of your pet?
 
What was going on in your life when your pet came into it?
​   
What life events did your pet witness? (marriage, divorce, kids, move, family death, etc). What memories does your pet hold?

What is your best memory? What is your worst? 

What event(s) wouldn’t you have gotten through without your pet's support?

How did your relationship change over the years?

Do you have any regrets or wish for moments of “do-overs?” 

What emotion(s) did your pet evoke in you? 

What do you miss the most about your pet? 

How did losing your pet impact your life?

What lessons did your pet teach you?

Imagine what your pet would say to comfort you during your grief.

Write a letter to your pet updating them on your After.

If you had the opportunity, how did you say goodbye?

If the loss was sudden, tragic, or incomplete (lost animal), and you weren't able to say goodbye, how can you find peace with what happened (even if you don't like it)?

The Basics 
How did your pet die? 

Have you and your pet traveled together? 
 
What were some of your pet’s unique quirks?
 
Did your pet have a nickname?
 
What was your pet's favorite toy?
 
Did your pet make any distinctive noises (snore, purr, whimper, talk in their sleep, etc)?
 
What was your favorite activity to do together?

Are there any people you would not have met but for your pet?
 
Was your pet friends with fellow animals? What were some of those relationships like?
 
What was your pet’s favorite food?
 
Where was your pet's favorite place to sleep?
 
What were some of your pet’s special toys?

 
Do you have a prompt to add or a TAIL to share?
PetTherapyNotes@gmail.com

**If writing isn't your thing (or if it is and you want more ideas), you will also find a Show Your Story page that features creative strategies for processing loss and memorializing your pet.